What Are We Competing For, Anyway?

We grow up being told that life is a competition. That we need to outdo others to get ahead. For some people, that’s exciting. They thrive in it. But for many of us, that constant push to win, to prove, to perform; it’s exhausting. Most people, when you really ask them, just want a good, happy life. They want health. They want people they love and who love them back.

Yet we’re bombarded with messages from ads, social media, and everywhere else telling us we always need to be improving. Be better than yesterday. Be more. Do more. Make more.

And sure, growth is a good thing. But how often do we stop and ask: What does “better” even mean?

What does success mean to you, not just to the world around you? Is a $100 raise after a year of work really life-changing? Does that extra money mean we’re living more fully, or does it just mean we can splurge on a few more things and still feel the same as before?

We rarely stop to reflect on whether the goals we’re chasing are even our own.

Whose voice are we listening to? Are we shaping our lives around what we genuinely care about or what someone else is trying to sell us?

Can we take a moment and ask what this minute meant to us? Did we fill it with meaning? Did it line up with what we truly value?

Maybe what we really want isn’t competition. Maybe it’s more love. More connection. More joy. More stillness. More time in nature. More time with God. Whatever “more” looks like to you.

That’s the key: you decide.

There are some things most of us need—love, peace, health, shelter. But what those things mean, and how we find them, is different for everyone. One person might be in peak physical health but feel spiritually lost. Another might have deep spiritual peace but live in a chaotic home.

This isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about taking the time to ask the questions. To reflect. To be honest with ourselves.

Growth isn’t about checking someone else’s boxes. It’s about learning what matters to you and living in a way that honors that.

But don’t take my word for it.

That part’s up to you.